The moment I found out about Kobe Bryant’s tragic death, my first reaction was of shock and disbelief. After all, I belong to the generation that grew up with Kobe Bryant. His untimely death was an instant reminder of my own mortality. Then I found out it was in a helicopter crash and that his teenaged daughter died with him. Being a parent myself, that broke my heart. The tragedy was immense and I posted something on Instagram about the fragility of life and how we must keep our loved ones close. I didn’t write what a great man Kobe was.
The tributes flowed soon after; applauding his supernatural ability on court, praising him as a father and generally glorifying him to the extent that today’s youngsters who may not have followed him as closely as we did, would think he was some kind of Demi-God. He was most certainly not. It is shocking to me that virtually none of the commentaries on his life and career have stopped to even acknowledge the rape. As if it never happened. In the age of #MeToo there are women, feminists, around the world who have been singing his praises and have not even alluded to the fact that he had once raped a teenager.
Yes, I know the charges were dropped and that the entire case had been hushed up with some undisclosed sum of money in an out of court settlement. So? Does that erase the fact that he did rape a woman? Is it really so easy for the rich, famous and powerful? For those who don’t know the case, more than fifteen years ago, a 19-year-old hotel employee accused Kobe Bryant of rape. The case never made it to trial because of the aforementioned settlement but the woman had bruises on her neck and tears on her vaginal wall. Kobe later apologised and admitted that she had not consented.
Incensed and angry at the absolute lack of any mention of this incident, I wrote this on Twitter: ‘Ok I’m going to cut the bullshit. While it’s a terrible tragedy & worse because of his teenage daughter dying too, Kobe was a sexual predator & the best legacy he could’ve made for his daughters was not raping women. Don’t glorify the ‘dad’. I know I’ll be attacked. Bring it on.’
A number of responses from colleagues and friends, all male, dwelt on the legal technicality – that the charges were dropped. I want to ask: does that really make it okay? It was one of those famous cases that were open-and-shut and the world knew that the rich and famous man had managed to subdue his powerless victim, one who was being persecuted and harassed daily by rabid Kobe fans. It is not difficult to understand how that ‘settlement’ transpired.
Yes, the tributes continue to flow. Tributes about what a wonderful person he was; eulogies from women who are world leaders, famous popstars, actresses, sports icons. Women who are self-proclaimed feminists and proponents of the #MeToo movement. It has shocked me to the core. I have no objections to Kobe being glorified for his on-court prowess but I would like someone to ask that (then) 19-year-old rape survivor if she thinks Kobe Bryant was a good man.